Amended List (from original september post)

1) Learn to play my harmonica - well, I 'found' my harmonica...

2) Return to London, uk.

3) Travel - give family the experience of travel, culture, diversity within

4) Find nice home for our cats - they deserve that - DONE! Granted it wasn't the home I had envisioned but I think they'll be fine. Now if I could stop dreaming about them returning home or being returned to us.

5) Respect my child's right to health, get rid of the cats asap to any old place - DONE! See item 4.

6) Write more, more often, different capacities -CHECK-ish = am doing to some degree, hooray!

7) Publish blog -CHECK! I finally did this one almost 2 years after having started a blog, I continued to add to it AND make it public. I have another friend to thank for inspiration on this one. Thanks Mama T! :)

8) Library/Literary Studies

9) Work in a library or book/literature environment

10) Write children's stories with lesbian/gay families in mind

11) Learn as many languages as possible -quasi check, have a good handle on francais, less espanol, can sing in portuguese!, very little chinese & japanese, working on german & hebrew

12) Paint; water colour, oil, wine, etc.
12a) Woodworking-Check-ish=underway!

13) Practice tai chi or yoga "regularly"

14) More capoeira

15) Work on (start) my child's scrap book

16) Change tattoo (alter, replace...)

17) Adhere better to diabetic diet - progress :)

18) Learn to sew/take sewing class
18a) Knit more/take knitting workshop - progress :)

19) Do Aids Walk for Life fundraiser

20) Endeavor to never ever make anyone feel small, inadequate, undeserving ... you get the idea -Check-ish; being a human being, is a constant discipline

21) Change outdoor light bulb - DONE! erm, thanks honey ;-)

22) Be Ellen & Portia's gal pal

bloodlines run WILDE!

So, since the inception of my blog is off the ground, however slowly, it is time I explained the nom de plume, Dana Wilde - Wilde World.
The reason. Its not that I am wild. Well, not on a daily basis anyway, though I do encourage an occasional visit to the wild side. Its good for the soul, good for the people, hell its good for the environment! (maybe).
"Wilde" does allude to a desire to unleash my wild side in the realm of amateur scribature. (I made that word up - its my blog. My wilde blog). And I do know that wilde with an 'e' does not mean wild without an 'e'. However, there is some word play at play (har!), for my own fancy & entertainment. My first name has an "e" in it. An unnecessary 'e' when one considers that half the population must be dyslexic! Apologies. I mean no disrespect to those who truly have the dyslexia disorder ... so to the rest of the unliterate population ... what's your excuse!? Do that many people not remember basic grammar, the 'ae' sound, silent 'e' after an 'a' makes the long 'a' sound...? No, I guess not. Alas, having this lifelong pet peeve of the 'e' in my name, I removed it & tacked onto the end of my blog pseudo last name. I took control of that situation didn't I! I showed them! Who?

Anyway.
Lastly, my maternal great grandmother was a "Wilde", a descendant of the clever & great Oscar Wilde! My heart was a flutter when I learned of this ancestry. For not only was he a known gay man & writer BUT here I am RELATED to one of my favourite authors! So I simply couldn't resist tying that in here somewhere. Easy.
Capiche?
Now, if I could only find that photo I took of the man's London flat in Chelsea, then I could post it here. Ah well. One day. Right now I have to go check my sleeping child's eye to ensure it is flushing sand properly. aye aye aye. heh heh.

the poppy

I'm not the first one, probably not even the last, to contemplate the poppy. The colour, the abundance of them in the presence of death, wearing them, growing them, opium, opium war! Lets not forget opium.
I mean lest we forget ... the opium poppy's binomial name (thanks wikipedia) indicates the flower is "the sleep-bringing poppy". No kidding! Just look at Flanders Fields! A captivating sight and piece of poetry. But a chilling reminder of blood shed & mass death en masse (yes I wrote it like that on purpose). Buried there all those who "paid the ultimate sacrifice" (quote from The Royal Canadian Legion).
Why contemplate it at all? I was raised, in part, knowing a military influence. (But mostly I was raised by hippies converted conservative. hmm.). A member of my family, a proud member of The Canadian Airforce, who knew more than I could ever fathom about about war & war times. He lived it. People suffered, people died, and not just soldiers. I am well aware that the poppy is there for the people, we people, as well as for the soldiers. I know that I may well not be sitting here in the comfort of my home writing this, in the comfort of my life were it not for the wars and the sacrifices, the senseless death & suffering.

Therein lies my problem ... the senseless death & suffering. For some time, to me, wearing the poppy somehow seemed to make war okay. Its okay to brutalize other human beings? Well, when they are brutalizing you & your people, I suppose it is acceptable. Is it? Who started it? That must be what validates killing another person, a whole "culture" of people. Does it?

Desecration of cenotaph in New Brunswick. It will never end. How could we possibly forget. And yet, young people, younger than even I, walk in this world without any idea how war effects them. To them, war is what happens elsewhere, to other people, on tv. Sure, great grandpa fought in WWI. The young never knew him. Despite the few bodies (a few too many) returning from war regions like Kandahar, war is just history, a fable, intangible.

What makes it tangible for me now, worth the effort ... what legitimizes the senselessness ... is my child. I would die for her, I would expect my countrymen to as well. I sheepishly join my people, my world in a moment of silence for those who did die for my child. For me. For themselves, their children ...
Sheepishly, I say, because some part of me feels I should always have honoured the war dead and, at times, I did not. And sheepishly because I am honouring the war dead; the grey area which so easily translates into fighting. Killing. Unimaginable.

My whole life there has been "the poppy". I don't have one today but I have this blog. I will remember ... the dead ... and the dead yet to be.

"On the sea and on the land

On the land I say good-bye

To my family sailing by

I will stand there waiting for return

Then I saw the bomb fly by

It hit the ship that just sailed by

Here I lay on the sand

My family’s gone and so am I.

By Amanda"

(Amanda - unknown)

By the way, that opium poppy is still utilized legally world wide for purposes other than ornamental. Why can't we wear that one!?

Do Not Break & Enter

It is hard to break into the house of me
sorry
It is the eccentric that attracts me
sorry
No one can see me
Judge you when you judge me
sorry
It now doesn't occur to me
To not be me
not sorry
Welcome to the home of me